Cultural faux-pas

A few months ago, as I was listening to the testimony of an American Christian with Indian heritage, she talked about an incident that occurred in a hospital while she was visiting her family in India. She really wanted to go over and talk to a man sitting in the waiting room, but she waited until her brother-in-law came back and asked him to introduce her. I was interested in why she waited, and so I asked. She said that women do not approach a man without being introduced to him first. Interesting, I thought, and didn't really give it another thought.

Until last night...

I went to a "Friendship Party" that was held by the international division of city hall. It was a going away party for a group of educators that had been visiting local schools this past week. One of my students invited me, so I went. When I first walked into the hotel where it was being held, I looked around lost. I didn't even know which floor to look on. Luckily, I saw a large group of non-Japanese people sitting in the lobby, so I figured I must be in the right place. As I was standing there like a deer caught in headlights, a woman that I met in the grocery store one time walked in. I was so happy to see someone I knew. I walked with her over to a group of people that were sitting and waiting in the lobby.

One woman- non-Japanese, possibly American- introduced herself, and one of the gentlemen sitting in the circle. I, being the let's-include-everyone person that I am, also started talking to the other gentleman that was sitting with them. I have NO clue what any of their names were, but the two men (both Indian) warmed up to me very nicely and were very friendly and even chatty, especially the one that I had not been introduced to. He said he felt like he had known me for a long time. When he found out that I am a missionary, he invited me to come be a missionary in his part of India. I was slightly taken aback at this- it isn't every day that I am invited into a non-Christian country with the purpose of spreading Truth. But, by this time, the student that had invited me came and I went into the party with her.

While we were upstairs listening to the opening speeches, the culture tip that I mentioned before hit me. I was dumbfounded! How could I have been so bold?! I felt quite foolish for coming to a culture-mixing bash and breaking one of the only customs of Indian cultures that I know.

It turned out okay though. If the man that I introduced myself to had a spare moment, he would come over to talk with me. As the party was coming to a close and everyone was standing around taking pictures, he came over and asked me if I would take a picture with him. Then, if that wasn't enough, his friend was also very open. As I was headed out the door to go home, the friend was talking with some people. I walked over and said goodbye, since I had met several of those people that night. He held out his hand in gesture of a handshake, then he hugged me goodbye. I was very surprised at this. I had barely spoken but a few words with this man. Maybe I have just been in Japan so long that I have forgotten that other people hug. (Japanese people, especially men, tend NOT to hug. ) Does anyone know if it is typical of Indian men to hug?

Anyway, I was very happy to see that my slip-up didn't result in any permanent damage. Overall, I feel it was a pretty successful night. I don't really know if I made any new friends, but I feel closer to cultures around the world somehow. It is a good feeling.