The "Moves"

The most recent debate that I am having within myself- which of course means that I ask other peoples' opinions also- is what is considered a "move". I was recently asked by a friend of mine if a guy was "putting the moves" on me. I realized that I don't actually know what "the moves" look like. It got me thinking. How DO men hit on women? I am of course NOT talking about pick-up lines. Those are pretty obvious, and even someone as opaque as me could figure that out. But I mean, real men. Gentlemen. The kind of man that isn't just looking to get a girl in bed. How would THAT kind of man show his interest in a woman? Here are what some people, spanning cultures, have said: (I will add a side note that says all of these opinions have come from women, and one that says that these are not my original ideas. They are stolen from conversations from this week...)

• - Staring- If a man continues to look deep into your eyes, he is showing that you have his attention. He is interested.
• - Touching- If a man makes excuses to touch your hand or your arm, he is showing he wants to be near you, that he can be tender with you.
• - Time- If a man spends excessive amounts of time with you, and even changes his plans to spend time with you, he likes you. You are more important than the other plans he had.
• - The "List"- If a man tells you what he is looking for in a woman, using specific details that ALL match your discription, he is either completely blockheaded OR he is being pretty obvious that you are the kind of person he wants to be with. yes, you.

The list goes on, but these are ones that have seemed pretty common. I still don't know though. I am a bit skeptical. It all seems very circumstantial to me. Just because a man does some- or all- of these things doesn't have to mean he is "putting the moves" on you. He could just be your friend, pretty good friend, and he knows that he can be honest with you. Right?

I mean, the Staring could be because you are in a crowded place and he will get distracted from the conversation if he looks away. As for Touching, for those that really aren't accidental, they can be explained away by his gentlemanness. It is classic for a man to offer a woman his arm as they are walking down the street, or to guide her with a gentle hand on her back or arm. It doesn't have to mean he likes her in a romantic way. And Time is something that ALL friends spend together, even if they aren't close. That is almost a requirement for friendship.

The List is a little bit more than a problem, especially if he is the kind of person that actually thinks before he speaks. However, if he is confident in his friendship with you, then it is possible that he believes that nothing he says will affect that relationship, and so he can speak freely and honestly about something that is close to his heart.

I can see the point that it may be stretching a bit to try to ignore the situation if all of these do happen with the same person. However, these all seem to me to be vague still. Are there any tell-tale signs of a man trying to advance a relationship with a woman? The world may never know.